How To Be A Good Friend When A Co-worker Is Laid Off

More than 250,000 tech workers have lost jobs in recent months, according to Layoffs.fyi, and some staff reductions have spread to other parts of the economy, with companies including Dow Inc., Walt Disney Co. and 3M Co. announcing cuts. For the colleagues and friends of those workers, the question of how to help can have several answers.

Since finding a new job often comes down to who you know, it might be time for you to call on your network to help them make new connections. Recommendations from former co-workers and mentors can help in plotting a future career move, but there are other ways to be helpful, too. Here are tips from career coaches and people who have been through a layoff on how to show up for a friend or co-worker whose job has been cut.

Think practically

When Brian Anderson, a senior cloud technical-account manager in San Antonio, saw a LinkedIn post from a co-worker who was laid off and looking for new opportunities, he wanted to offer more than sympathy. He commented on her post and tagged two recruiters he had worked with in the past, recommending that they connect.

Mr. Anderson, 46 years old, was laid off from a job in the early 2000s, and was greatly helped by people who connected him to contacts who aided his job search, he said. In one case, a contact he was introduced to referred him to somebody else, and that person was able to help him land a new role.

“Being able to give her some contacts and expand her network is going to be crucial to her getting whatever the next position is," Mr. Anderson said. “It was for me."

Reach out

People who have been laid off are likely experiencing a range of emotions, from anger to sadness to fear. Though these situations can be awkward or fraught, career advisers say former colleagues and work friends shouldn’t avoid people who have been laid off.

Former colleagues often feel some sense of survivor’s guilt at being spared in a round of cuts, or helplessness, so they frequently go dark or say nothing.

Yet getting in touch, even in a small way, can have an impact.

David Lancefield, a London-based executive coach who has worked with the BBC, NBCUniversal Media LLC and Microsoft Corp., recommends beginning with an email asking when is a good time to talk. Be empathetic and make clear your intent to help.

“The starting point would be to say, ‘Look, I heard the news. I wanted to reach out to you as a good friend,’" he said.

Give the person time to respond when he or she is ready, and remember that person might need alone time to process their job loss.

What to say

Once you can talk, rather than asking a generic “How are you?" that can come off as just being polite or invite a torrent of emotion, state that you want to be the best possible friend or colleague. Ask how you can best support the person, Mr. Lancefield said.

During your conversation or follow-up emails, avoid phrases such as “Any company would be lucky to have you" or “I know you’ll find something soon." However well-intentioned, they can come off as dismissive about what the person is going through or how they view their situation, Mr. Lancefield said.

Listen to them, observe their cues and try to understand their mind-set. “If people feel comfortable with you, they will then say what they want," Mr. Lancefield said.

Ask questions to find out their current career goals, whether they want to stay in their field or try something different, Mr. Lancefield said. Those details can allow you to help in more relevant ways, such as sending specific job opportunities their way or sharing information about training or skills building.

Enlist their help

There are some ground rules if you are offering introductions to people in your network. First, make sure the contact you want to introduce your colleague to is open to such an introduction and not caught off guard.

It is a good idea to ask former colleagues how they want to be introduced, said Diane Darling, author of a book on networking who has lectured at Harvard Business School, Cisco Systems Inc. and Bank of America Corp. For example, do they want you to play up their management experience, or highlight their technical acumen?

It can be helpful to ask the person to send over a short description to use in the introductory email. You can also offer to write recommendations or post them on LinkedIn, touting what a hard worker the person is and citing specific examples of big wins and tenacity, said Ms. Darling, adding that she believes such online recommendations are truly useful.

Also important, she said, is knowing when to butt out.

“I’ll check in with them pretty frequently if it’s a relatively close relationship," she said. “I may say to them, ‘I want to check in on you. If that bugs you, let me know.’"

Learn from experience

Mariah Rogers said some of the most effective outreach she received after being let go from her job as an analytics engineer at a clean-energy technology company in December was from people she knew through work and career groups who wanted to help her hone how she presented her skills.

“Some contacts sent me articles written by career coaches about personal brand and résumé writing, some helped me practice interview questions, and some wrote job recs," she said. Her former colleagues and industry contacts also helped her strategize what she should be looking for in her next job, she said.

Ms. Rogers, who is 28 and lives in Irvine, Calif., said she is certain that by having friends help her during the search, she performed better during interviews and ultimately prevailed. She started her new job Feb. 7 as a senior data and analytics engineer at Cypress.io, an Atlanta-based maker of test automation tools for web developers.

Write to Ray A. Smith at Ray.Smith@wsj.com