Stop. Look... Install Linux? The Reg Solves Microsoft's Latest Windows Teaser

Fans eagerly awaiting the emission of Windows 11 have been treated to a teaser of today's big event, ending with Microsoft giving us all... the finger?

"Feel what's next for Windows," exhorts Microsoft. Based on Vista and Windows 8, we'd have to say we're getting a sense of impending doom. Or perhaps we should be feeling fluffy… like a cloud. Which, after all, is the direction of travel for Microsoft.

Set a reminder to experience what’s new, live, June 24th at 11 am ET ???? https://t.co/r7D0GQnR4x pic.twitter.com/UJrji0WxxB

— Windows (@Windows) June 23, 2021

In the past, some at The Reg may have been feeling anticipation for a new version of Windows. Windows 8 put paid to that as the horror of the user interface unfolded. Windows 10 sought to undo the damage while saving a bit of face.

• Windows 11: Meet the new OS, same as the old OS (or close enough)
• Microsoft: Try to break our first preview of 64-bit Visual Studio – go on, we dare you
• What Microsoft's Windows 11 will probably look like
• Microsoft to unveil 'what's next for Windows' ... Rounded corners and what else?

This time around – who knows? Hopefully the freshest OS will include a bit more than the yawn-inducing leaks seen so far. Some have speculated that the emphasis on the eye indicates some form of virtual or augmented reality, while others point to the ear as meaning the arrival of some new Surface audio devices. As for the touching and feeling, well, we shan't be going there.

The solution is simple. Reverse the teaser and you have Stop. Look. Listen.

It is clearly Microsoft's version of the Green Cross Code, except for walking across roads backwards. Arguably less dangerous than entrusting your critical enterprise processes to the public cloud.

Youtube Video

Windows for Walking? Stop. Look. Install Linux? A Clippy for crossing?

While we can't imagine Microsoft boss Satya Nadella donning the garb of the great David Prowse's iconic 1970s road safety campaigner any time soon, it is perhaps worth considering Prowse's other great role, that of Star Wars all-round bad egg, Darth Vader.

Has Microsoft allowed the veneer of years being a pal to open source to crack? Probably not – after all, those subjected to the company's bumbling attempts to make Dark Mode work on Windows 10 over the years are unlikely to be lured to the Dark Side any time soon. ®